the year you spent being a part of me

It’s almost a new year and I’m feeling nostalgic. This year somehow feels more whole than others. I’m remembering all the moments and people who made it so. Physically, I spent half of 2009 away from Vancouver. Mentally, I was absent from this city a lot more frequently than that; writing this hit that point home for me.

I’m thinking about Russia and Indonesia and classes taken in my last term as an undergraduate student. I’m weighing the bad decisions I made against the good ones. I’m thankful to Anna for having the patience to deal with it all and for sitting with me at warungs and just taking it all in. For showing my, like nobody else could, the beauty of the Philippines (we made [one of] our dream[s] come true!). I’m thankful to the ocean, which has taught me more about myself than anything or anyone else this past year. I am mourning the deaths of Raoul and Ian, both of whom impacted me in ways that they would have never suspected. I am thinking about the marriage of two friends who have found happiness in a way that seems to distant from my own but who are so inspiring in their journey. Sveta – it felt like we had never been apart; I love you so much. I am pleasantly surprised by the lasting impact of Glen Coulthard on my thinking, even though I can’t find an adequate way to articulate it. I am even more in awe of the beauty and compassion that embodies Salima, who fills the world with immeasurable quantities of love every single day of her existence. I’m so thankful to Anton, who has humbled me and made me reconsider freedom and obligation and what it means to be good. To CouchSurfing, for showing me a beautiful side of humanity. Ben for showing me that there are still things in life worth fighting for. To Tom, my friend and guru, who spent countless hours pouring over textbooks and then stayed around so that we could just talk about life and opportunity and everything in between. Who showed me the sun setting in the east. Zach, I missed you. Also to Jessica, who went on beautiful adventures with me and stayed brilliant throughout all the setbacks (and who watched the cloud make shapes on the roof of Skygarden with me!). To the Kuta Beach Boys for sharing their beautiful world with me (I’ll never forget the last day). Paul and Brendan for all the times that you teased me about surfing and then still encouraged me to go out there and paddle, paddle, paddle. For the time spent with my grandparents, who taught me about patience and age while we planted carrots and beets and dill. To Terna for being so awesomely self-deprecating and funny and smart; I loved having you around (one day, a road trip).  And also, to Owen; I could cover the miles that separate us with words of what you mean to me.  To everyone who I haven’t mentioned as well. You’re here. I am so incredibly fortunate to have you help make up who I am.