’tis the season

December 1^st. The first day of winter (in Russian eyes.) I had to be reminded of it by Elena, as we both stood, unable and unwilling to believe that in just one short month it will be a new year, and with it the possibility of never seeing one another again.

 

Here’s what’s really nice about China: it is so easy to bypass the ‘holidays’ here. In China, the whole plethora of red, green, and white that makes up the holiday color scheme, has gone unnoticed, save for a few obligatory pictures of Santa and an odd Christmas tree display at Fuwah, the biggest hotel in Weifang.

 

I once read that one of the ideas that has been researched the least is how commercial society affects gratitude. As we get wealthier and more inundated with media images of what is ‘good’ and ‘happy’ and ‘in’, what happens to our need to appreciate and to thank those around us, and acknowledge those we will never get to thank in person. It is easy (so easy) to be a skeptic (as I still am), and say that our ideas of what we need and want are primarily determined by ourselves. It’s all too easy to scoff at jaded communications students, and reject their view of media as a way to control thoughts, decisions, and desires. But the truth is, it’s taken me this trip to China to realize how little of ‘Christmas’ I feel without radio stations devoted to carols and TV specials devoted to ‘the season’.

 

The lovely thing about being in China is that for the first time in a while, it’s December, and I’m not aching over the perfect gift for the archetypal “neighbor” “sister” “dad” and “friend who has everything.” I am not curious about the latest holiday design on the Starbucks cups, and I’m not buying wrapping paper in bulk. I’m not buying much of anything these days. It’s December and the thing that’s occupying my headspace the most is the inevitability of leaving. The realization that it’s that time to start counting the lasts. Seeing people for the last time, and the awkwardness of goodbyes. Promises I will never keep, and those that won’t be kept by others. And here’s another thing that’s been creeping in… a slow, lingering realization of just how damn fortunate I am to have had this experience. Even though it will soon be over, I am overwhelmed with gratitude (that’s precisely it) for China, for my parents, for my education, and for those amazing people I am lucky enough to call friends.

 

And did they tell you the name of the game, boy?

They call it riding the gravy train